28 days until move out.

I tried to write a simple post and that didn't even sound right.

I'm bored out of my mind with life.

I'm not sure I'm doing as well with moving on as I give myself credit for.

& I just need things to pick up again.

Hey college, hurry up & let's get this party started.

Thumbs up for Vicki's.

When my entire extended family read my blog, I might've felt that my privacy was being invaded ever so slightly, but then again, it is a public blog. The real issue was probably the fact that there are just some things I blog, that they'd probably rather not know about me. 

[WARNING: this is one of those posts] 

Today was supposed to be my first day of work, & I was excited. I finally mastered the beach waves on my incredibly straight hair, & I felt good about life.

Long story short, there were complications transferring me from my last job to the current one on the BYU system, so today was not my first day of work. I was already all the way in Provo.. & although I'm out of my allowance of free spending money, the mall was so close.. but no brablem, lucky for me, I had Vicki's coupons, including free panties. Holla.

Buying undergarments in department stores, or target, or walmart, or bascially anywhere just maybe too public.. *incredibly awkward* [I used to make Jess run in and grab new unds for me when I needed them.] Until more recent than I'd like to admit, I was the girl who was too afraid to enter Victoria's Secret, (a brablem, I know) I suppose this post is for you girls. Don't tell your mom I told you this, but that place is goood.

Now don't get your panties in a bunch, [puns always intended] this won't get too personal, I'm just saying, Every girl should own good bra's and panties. You'll feel better about life, I'm sure of it.
Go to their huge sale. Get lots of cute panties. Find a good coupon. Find a perfect bra.

Trust me, if you like what's underneath, you feel confident in just about anything you put on over top.
So make sure to slip in there sometime for your back to school shopping. Idk, but I doubt you'll regret it.

Other happies: Crazy bread, always. Gold nail polish for summer, & the perfect everything, color especially about this new top. 

Rain triggers thinking.

I'm not sure why it took me so long to fall in love with the rain, but if nothing else, last summer did it for me. I guess I never completely noticed the rain before, but last summer it seemed to rain more than usual, and every time it did I was thinking of him. Probably wishing for a kiss in the rain, although we always seemed to just miss it. I still think that might've been the happiest time of my life. But, being in love inevitably makes you happy, right?
It's funny the way love changes though, and life too. How two years ago I was smitten with this boy, as I brought a sack full of random knick-kancks to him for his birthday.
& a year ago exactly I was avoiding the thought that he'd leave in just three weeks. Crazy that was a year ago. I'm ready for new though. He's right, there's no telling what will happen in a year, and almost likely, nothing.. so I put that little blue book back on the shelf, the one full of memories I couldn't get over. & promised myself this time it'd stay there. Because you can't move forward if you keep reliving the past.. no matter how good it may have seemed.

Real-life Adventuring.

I'd forgotten how much I love to hike. 

Mt. Timpanogos. So nice, you do it twice. 

Everyday Saturday.

Yesterday we hiked Timp. Or maybe it was today. Or Friday. I got off work Wednesday and every day since has been Saturday.

I bought six pairs of shoes at Savers yesterday. They were all practically if not brand new, and all under $7. WINNER.

I crave shaved ice.. so much. Snoasis' are by far the best too. (Trust me, I've tried 'em all.)

My summer job is over, and it definitely blessed my life. You betcha I'm going to miss my fellow counselors like CRAZY.

I start my new job Monday, & I'm crossing my fingers I'll still run in to the other counselors often.

I've been too sore/tired/out of energy to do anything today, so I looked at bedspreads online all day. & I still haven't quite found the perfect one. #toopicky

I just read reviews on all my professors for Fall term and to say I'm stoked would be an understatement.

Is there such thing as #subblogging, like #subtweeting, if so, I think I might've gotten subblogged. For better or for worse.

Lots of my bestfriends left on their missions this week. & I'm starting to think I might end up leaving sooner rather than later. But then I change my mind back to later again-- it just makes more sense.

Happy day, happy life, & definitely feeling blessed right now.

People are imperfect.

People are completely flawed, & that's just life.

But clearly it does complicate things a little, & it can work so hard against you when you get caught on the wrong side of things. 

All it takes is a small misconception, to get blown up suddenly into endless assumptions and rumors and problems.It's funny the way people can manipulate, or turn someone into the bad guy.  

It's funny the way insecurities have the power to destroy relationships. 

Inevitably some things never go back to the way they were. & life goes right on.
You have to realize what things you can control in life, and which ones you can't. & I've learned the way others act, is one that you can't. So you be the best you, & don't worry about them. 
Keep the things in life that make you happy, and get rid of the ones that don't. 

SS: To be a little better.

I absolutely loved this post by Ashley, from From A to Z. 

This quote especially:

"Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can put behind us our weaknesses of the past and go forth with new energy and increased resolution to improve the world about us, in our homes, in our places of employment, in our social activities." 

-President Gordon B. Hinkley

It's such a motivating quote, because I do have more in me than what I gave last week. 

so here's to being a little better... because the world needs and deserves our best selves. 

[check her ouuut.]

I ran away.

Sometimes it's okay to literally just run away.

To just get in the car & leave, let the doubt and frustration take over. 

Sit in the thunderstorm and let the raindrops be your tears

Friends will let you down, and you realize not all friendships do last. 

Your best friends will leave on missions for two years and goodbye's are hard. 

Turns out you can't always trust the people you were positive you could. 

& there are occasions when the 'bad guy' will win. Win all of it. Atleast temporarily, and it's awful. 

Anxiety may eat away at you when because you don't know what tomorrow's simple letter will say. 

or if you should even care, of if he still cares, or will ever care. 

& you can lay in the rain, as over-dramatic and ridiculous as it may sound. 

& hopefully by the time the sky clears, your mind will have also. 

12:30//mid-thirty thoughts.

yes for this new college laptop. seriously, my life just got a millionx easier.
no to the twenty-four year old who wants to take this friendship up a notch-- let's still be just friends.
yes to dates with great friends from high school. [dates that are actually my age. for the win.]
no to carnivals. 'nuff said.
yes to the zipper ride. tears of laughter and utter happiness were shed. not even I expected to enjoy it as much as I did.
no to every other ride making me feel sick sick sick.
yes to sitting out that last ride. definitely a good decision.
yes to raspberry sherbet ice cream.
yes to "We Bought a Zoo"
definite yes to that other boy I can't get off my mind.
no to the fact he probably doesn't even think twice about me.
no to him leaving on his mission in just a couple months. [or maybe that should be a yes.]
no to Monday still being two days away.
& I honestly have no idea whether to give that other missionary a yes or no. if you checked my journal as of late it'd be a big, definite yes.

life's weird. life's good.
also not sure if waking up at 5:00am tomorrow morning to help with a race is a yes or no.
no to five hours of sleep. that one's for sure.

Things to not'to do.

-get addicted to online shopping. You'll never want the packages to stop coming..
-make the mistake of not writing some of your best friends for over a year... (well maybe do, because then they're 10x more excited to hear from you)
-make exclusive groups amongst your groups of friends, like where is the love?
-DTR for the first time in your entire relationship after being gone for a year-- can't we just continue to let things be chill? (jk, maybe it's a good thing?)
-forget to take a picture with your girls for the week. You might end up loving them more than you thought you would.
-sleep through fun runs. #superseniorlife
-be nice to college boys unless you want to go on dates with them. Because apparently nice means interested. (jk again, dates are fun, be nice to everyone.. maybe)
-stop running.
-when someone tells you about a date they're going on, say "oh he asked me too, but I couldn't go" -- no one wants to know they were second string.
-keep a journal full of happy and love unless you never want to be able to forget.
-hesitate to get shaved ice every single day. This is summer.

The happiest kind of happy.

You know the way people's eyes light up when they talk about something they're truly passionate about? It's like a piece of their heart is completely attached to it.. a hobby, or a place, or a sport, even an event, or movie or book or anything really!

I was trying to figure out just what it is that would truly make my eyes light up to talk about. What am I completely obsessed with?

Lake Powell, always summertime, 

and right now, being a camp counselor.

[part of the team at Ethan's farewell]

and also, being a member of the PG Cross Country/track team. 

There's not one person who was on the team last year who could tell you it didn't change their life completely for the better.

Stimulates Wanderlust.

Just in case you didn't already have an extreme desire to travel, this post will do it for you. No doubt.

Dating is weird.

There I was. Hiking this mountain. With this kid- psych-- guy, who was 24, and had brought me a PB&honey sandwich. Just hiking, and chatting. Or sitting on a paddle board rowing around a lake. & I thought to myself, well, this is weird. Paddle boarding is fun, so is hiking, but Dating is weird. 

Really, it was totally chill. They were nice guys, super fun to talk to. 

Just be careful what you wish for. 

Because sometimes when you wish that people would ask on more dates. Having chacos kid, or the Premie (the only premish kid) or the super cute runners in mind, your wish might come true not quite as you expected. & you realize they're old and then just feel super weird about the whole situation and decide for real that dating can be put on hold until people get home from their missions because these kids are old and even if they were the cute ones, you're just thinking no to that. 

Yeah, sometimes that happens. 

Free Slurpees x2

It's okay to go for free slurpees twice. 

& if you want to, why not blog what you already posted on your snapchat story?

We also said goodbye to my friends who're leaving to bike accross the country. Uhm, crazy right? 

It's actually pretty cool though. Here, check it out!

Greatest Place on Earth.

Although I am willing to argue it to be the happiest place on earth, I figure greatest comprises happiest. 

I was too afraid to get my camera out when we were at the beach, so these were all just snapped as we were leaving. But goodness, isn't it gorgeous?

I didn't realize the obnoxiously up close picture got thrown into the mix, but Lake Powell makes me that obnoxiously happy, so we'll let it be. 

PG to LP.

Pfft. Heck no, not Lone Peak.
#LAKEPOWELL.

This blog is still no where near up to date, but it came out of hiding (#private) anyway. Maybe one day it'll be caught up, and maybe not.    [7/13/14: and it's officially caught up. hah we'll see how long that lasts!]
Peace out Utah County, I'm off to Lake Powell.

The potentially awkward switch.

From work friends to after work friends. Like weekend hangout kind.
I'm still deciding how I feel about it... & the fact that they're 24 doesn't help.
Seriously that's old..

Uhm #confessiontweet I made up excuses for two dates this weekend.

Guys. That's awful.. but they're old.. and aaah. I just couldn't grasp the situation. I partied with my family instead, therefore the excuses were half legit.
Age is just a number right? Would you go on a date with someone 5-6 years older than you??

Hey 18, 19, and 20 year olds. I think I'll just put dating on hold until you all get home from your missions.. is that okay? Sweet, good, great.

Rounds II & III.

Gymnastics & Cross Country. & I felt right at home. 

 Haha, yes, the gymnasts were ironically the only girls I've had scale right up that sculpture. 

 the Super Group. 

& the runners. 

It was much more relateable, and of course I grew to love these girls a whole lot. 

It was funny, the way they're more independant sports, and you could see the independance in the girls and the groups. 

Tori was the coolest roommate, and our gymnasts meshed into one super group. 

They had the strongest backs and shoulders that I envied on the daily. Okay actually their whole cute little bodies were just pure muscle. Gosh, I love gymnasts. Some were sassy & some were sweet, and I loved them all. We got snow-cones twice, so that was a plus.

They taught us how to "cat-cow" (it's a dance move.) & wore us out by staying up incredibly late every night. We gave up on bedtime and partied with them. oops?

The cross country kids had a weird schedule and we hardly got enough sleep.

I'd gotten bored of running by myself, so I joined them and it was so super fun!

The BYU runners are hilarious and getting to know them was super fun. 

These girls ate more food than any other group, and also needed ice more than any other group. 

& once again there were so many more hard goodbye's.

That concludes week III, which means I'm halfway done. 

& that hurts my heart a whole lot. I don't think I'm ready for reality to set back in.

so much chocolate milk.

sometimes I write down the little details about the people I've grown close to.
because I get nervous that we'll move on with our lives, and I'll forget the way I knew them.

Blessed.

7/2/14
It's amazing. Honestly, all of it. Every single day I become more grateful for this AMAZING job I somehow stumbled upon. Slowly but surely, the sports camps are changing my life. My prayers are being answered in different ways daily, my testimony is being strengthened, and I'm surrounded by the most incredible people, all the while hopefully making a difference in these sweet girls lives.
Yesterday a girl got sick and needed a Priesthood blessing, a couple of the counselors hurried down and from the second I saw who walked in I knew she was going to be alright. I'd never doubt either of their worthiness to give a blessing, they're truly amazing guys, how lucky am I to be surrounded by worthy Preisthood holders who can come administer a blessing in a moments notice? The spirit was so strong, and the blessing was beautiful. How did I get so lucky to be a member of the one true church on this earth today? This gospel is true. & I wish everyone could know that the way I do. 

Quick life clip.

*Sitting eating breakfast with three or four of the runners and their guy friend, they're all sixteen or seventeen (you know the one who always is best friends with all the girls)*
*huddled in around the table, talking about who's crushing on who, who the cute counselors are, yadda ya, typical*

Preface: Cute counselor who we'll refer to as chacos. He is so dang fine, and he works those chacos and dances like you wouldn't believe. Seriously. Once he patted my back as he said "good morning Brittney" we have occasional small talk, but other than that it's a definite admire from afar.

*We'd just finished that conversation, when lo and behold, chacos walks past, they also had nick-named him chacos*

I had my phone and meal card sitting on my lap, now imagine this all happening at the simultaneously.

Brian: "Wait, so chacos is your boyfriend?"
*uncross my legs and everything falls on the ground, I reach under the table*
*chacos walks past..*
Chacos: "Hey Brit, .....run something something something...?"
Brit: *completely frazzled, no idea what he just said* *already blushing*
Chacos: *looks at me funny as I get out from under the table and look at him completely confused, but he kinda continues to keep walking*
Brit: "What? oh yeah, I run." #incrediblyawkward
Chacos: *still walking away from us* No, I said did you run with them this morning?
Brit: *Head completely craned backward* Yep, yes, I did. *definitely blushing*
Chacos: *laughs a little at the awkwardness* Good, good for you. *Smiles and is gone.*
The entire table: *Bursts out laughing.* 

Hi, maybe it was had to be there experience, but Brit that was just real real awkward of you.
Guess we'll just brush that one off and get on with our life..? Haha yeah.. okay...