Plot twist: Change is HARD.

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to see your mind mapped out? Alright probably not, but think about it--multi-dimensional, with intricate little details-- or maybe it could be gigantic like a maze you could explore your subconscious, relive memories, and see everything laid out, the connections and all the knowledge you've ever obtained... [I'd like to hope it's something we'll see in the next life.]

Although, I think every now and then you can catch the tiniest glimpse of it, you see a piece of yourself, your thoughts and subconscious, simply spelled out.

The one I saw most recently was a simple statement: 

"You're not nearly as comfortable with change as you pretend to be." 

All it took was a week of college to show me this. Although, I don't think it's a natural human tendency to love and embrace change when it comes your way. It's unfamiliar and uncomfortable..

The first day of cross country practice when I didn't know anyone on the team; Freshman Orientation in its entirety; saying goodbye to close friends; the loss of a loved one; new places, new people, new school, it's all uncomfortable at first. It opens chapters of your life that are completely unwritten, and there's no telling what they might hold. 

It was an interesting realization, why had I always though I adapted well to change, when in reality big changes had always become the lowest points of my life? Looking back though I realize that it's because there was always something else that prevailed: faith. 

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." ~1 Nephi 4:6 

Definition of first day of college right there. Or the second or the third day for that matter.. or all those other experiences in my life; like Nephi, I don't always know what I should do, or how things will work out, but I do know that through these times, the spirit will be my comforter and my guide, and that provides all the comfort I need. 

I'm grateful that for as many unknowns as there may be in my life, there's also the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father who does know; He knows all the answers and outcomes. He has an absolutely perfect and complete plan for me; One that will ultimately make me the happiest if I will keep the commandments and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. 

I can only imagine how crazy all this would sound if I didn't know that it was completely true. But I do, I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I am so grateful for my testimony. It's the reason I've found so much happiness and true joy in my life, and I know that's the truth.