Caught in college..

I keep telling myself that it's still just that weird adjustment phase. & that things will get better.
By no means are they bad. My classes are all things I'm super interested in. I have one new best friend, my roommate is awesome, I absolutely love my job, and I found a running buddy.

But it all still feels strange, & I feel out of place. Where is my little posse of the funniest boys in the world, a lunch bunch, where are my girls, and my go to group every single weekend? Why are my best friends from high school making endless plans and not inviting me? The people that really know me.. do they even still exist? It's weird not knowing everyone in every class, or at lunch.. I just don't like change this time. Mealtimes with Maddie and phonecalls with Jess & Jenn are the only things keeping me sane.

It's almost like I'm watching the potential of how incredibly fun college can be. I see everyone else with their new best friends, with their little crushes, best friends with everyone in their hall, going on dates, too busy to go to bed before 3am, thriving off this college life. I see it all happening.. I just can't quite claim that life as my own. I tried reaching out for it.. tried to make it happen.. then decided maybe I need to just let it come. & that hasn't changed much either..

I'm stuck in limbo. & I wish things would click into place already.