Overdramatic @2AM

The final counselor cluster of the summer, aka a pool party, with a trip to In-N-Out on the way home. Because it was fairly far away, I left my car somewhere, & we carpooled up. & somehow I ended up driving home with a fairly cute, very RM, boy.

I hopped into my car around about 2:00am. 

[Fun fact: I often talk to myself while I'm driving.]

Tonight, it turned into a small pep talk, but began with about three minutes straight of, 

"oh... shooot. shooooot. oh shooot. oh shoot." before pulling out of the parking lot.

Because what in yid had I just done? Yeah I had a baby crush, but we were just friends! Now you think I'm totally interested?? Nope, nope, nope. Psych.

See there's this weird adjustment that my whole self is having a hard time making. 

How in High School, you flirt with someone if you're attracted to them. & maybe they like you back, or ask you to a dance, or pull a move on you when you're all hanging out with friends, and most the time they don't even like you back, and if they do you have this little fling relationship thing, and it's kind of whatever.. carefree, fun, no strings attached.

Then you graduate, and get tossed into this work pool with a whole bunch of RM's [aaaahhh...] so ready to wife. & plot twist, because this time when you come along and are attracted to someone, think before you flirt. Because reality, they date to marry. & those little flings, they don't really see as just little flings, gosh darn it.

Gosh, I do like you. But in a little high school crush sort of a way.
& before I know it, you'll want to get married.

Hi, I'm Brit. & obviously I'm incredibly over-paranoid about giving RM's the wrong idea. 

The Pep Talk: calm the heck down, you can go on a date with someone and stay just friends. Tell them you're going on a mission and there won't be any misunderstandings. or, just don't flirt with them in the first place if you don't want them to date you.

Good thing we could come to that conclusion. 

Way to freak out over nothing Brit.

 I mean, it's just a date.