Friday, June 6

Life at the Bottom of the Totem Pole.

It's like being in 7th grade all over again, or Sophomore Year. 
That first day you enter the ring, it feels as though all eyes are on you, and it's clear, you do not belong. Whether they really don't like you or not, at least their lack of care for you is apparent.  You're simply just there, in the way, taking up space.

Senior year felt good, not being in that stage in the slightest. 
Unfortunately graduation actually kicked us back down to the bottom, to try and climb the ladder once again. 
Unlike Junior High, where the sevies stick out like dandelions on a perfect lawn, it's a little bit easier to blend in up here, luckily, because younger, just isn't appealing. They'll hardly give me the time of day better yet become my friend when they realize I'm only 17. Act it and they'll buy it, right? Yes, usually.. 

My co-workers/other counselors for the summer, are basically all returned missionaries. I swear even most the girls are.. needless to say I am much younger; but I have gotten to the point where I can answer almost every question without having to disclose my age. 
[what's your major? Where are you working right now? Where do you fall in your family? Where did you grow up?] 
that is, until the dreaded question pops up.. 

"so what year did you graduate?"then my whole body tenses up, I become incredibly tempted to lie, then refrain, and then awkward pause, and then I kind of mumble out, "uhm, uh, two weeks ago?" Yeah, now the conversation is more awkward than that pause, because they were very likely deceived and expecting a much different response. No matter how well the conversation had previously been going, after politely continuing for no more than a minute, they excuse them self. Not even kidding. [I thought people didn't care about age anymore??] 

so such is the life of a college freshman. I like new friends, especially the good looking ones. 
Hah, guess I'll just have to work on my distraction/topic changing tactics.



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